I'm not sure what exactly has prompted me to start this blog. Maybe it's the recent life changing events that have happened in my life. Maybe it's the fact that I thought I was happy just two weeks ago and now I am miserable. Maybe it's that I sometimes feel like a huge failure as a mom and a wife... Maybe it's a mixture of all of those things. I need an outlet, and so here it is. Hopefully someone can learn from my experiences. If not, at least I got it figured out for myself and written down.
I guess I should start by saying that today I am "ok". It's not a good day or a bad day. It's just a day. Yesterday was a bad day and I'm determined to make tomorrow a good day.
I'm dealing with the relationship issues that have become present in my life during the past two weeks. I'm having a hard time coping with what has happened, but I know I will live. These issues have left me broken, depressed, and down right self loathing. I wish I was someone different, skinny and pretty with nice muscle tone and the ability to be everything my man wants out of me. Does any woman get that? I don't know but I'm certainly on the quest.
I'm trying to find a job. Money is so tight and I just can't imagine it getting worse right now. I'm pretending that everything is going to be okay but in my head I'm panicked. We're bordering homelessness and it's getting cold out. I don't really know what to do at this point except panic. But I'm not going to let my family see it.
I'm dealing with my own personal demons that I've brought upon myself and I'm working on a whole lot of self improvement. I'm intending to lose 80 pounds.
So I guess this is a blog for me to just unwind.
No comments:
Post a Comment